Category Archives: Uncategorized

Spring has arrived and God’s beauty is everywhere!

Even in our facilities … many of our institutions have nice trees and beautiful flowers for both staff and inmates to enjoy.

For most of Pennsylvania’s chaplains the mad rush of Lent, Easter, Passover, and Mother’s Day is over.  Soon we will be getting ready for Ramadan around the beginning of August. 

Until then, are the next few months time to relax, touch base with our communities, or get caught up with administrative duties that fell to the side during the busy holy days?

In the mad rush of it all, sometimes the personal pastoral needs of inmates get neglected.  Despite our best intentions, many of us find ourselves not knowing what’s going on with the members of our own faith communities until a crisis occurs.  Often it is too late.

Even though we may have large faith communities, do we miss ”the regulars,” the inmates who consistently participate, when they stop coming to worship services or Chapel activities?  Do we assume they’re taking a break, or maybe that they’ve been released?  Do we make a mental note to check up on them “later?”  Often failing to follow up?

***

I experienced a crisis in my facility this past weekend.  While doing rounds, I came upon a self-harm situation.  To tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much blood in my entire life.  As I approached the cell, the smell of it assailed my nostrils.  I think the smell registered with me first before the sight did.  I was very shaken.  

After I left the unit, I kept asking myself what drives an inmate to such desperate despair?  Of course, there are a myriad of answers.  But how does it reach that point?  Is there anything the Chaplain can do to help?

The situation brought back memories for me of something that happened in my own faith community.  A young lady, around 20 years old, committed suicide.  She hung up.  The old-fashioned way.  It was awful for both staff and inmates. 

I knew this young lady from the moment she came to my facility.  I did her AOD assessment when I was a counselor in the DCC.  Months later, I was her AOD outpatient counselor.  I got to know her pretty well.  After I retired from full-time work at the DOC, I became a contract Muslim chaplain.  I was thrilled when one day this young lady asked to see me and shared with me that she had an interest in Islaam and in becoming a Muslim.  We talked about it for a long time, and she said the Shahadah (the testimony of faith by which one enters the fold of Islaam) a few weeks later. 

Her attendance at Jumuah and Islaamic activities was consistent.  She seemed changed.  She seemed happy.  Or so I thought …

Then one day my supervisor called me at home.  As chaplains, we are used to delivering death notices to inmates, but I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for a chaplain supervisor (FCPD) to inform a staff chaplain that a member of their faith community has died.  Especially by suicide.  And my supervisor was working the day it happened.  She saw everything.

The young lady waited until all the staff members went home for the week on Friday.  She then wrote goodbye notes to some staff members, knowing that they wouldn’t read them until they came in on Monday when it was all over and it was too late for intervention.  She also sent a poem to one of her friends.  That weekend, when most of the inmates on her block were at yard, she made her move … she hung herself. 

As her chaplain, I was devastated.  But I barely had time to tend to my own spiritual grief.  I had a job to do.  There was a Janazah (Islaamic funeral prayer) to prepare, inmates to provide emotional support to, and even staff members came to my office to talk.

If this young lady knew how many people loved her, I don’t think she would have committed suicide.  Her notes and comments she made to inmates (who put it together after her death) suggested that she thought she was alone and had no where else to turn.  She had no family to speak of except a grandmother.  She felt overwhelmed, and thought no one cared …

Did she think her chaplain didn’t care?

I rationally know that her suicide was not my fault.  But in my heart, I have survivor’s guilt.

I know we’re all very busy, but take some time during this lovely season to check in with as many inmates as you can.  Inmates appreciate the time and interest, even if it’s just a few words.  You never know what makes a difference to inmates.  Let them know you care. 

Before it’s too late …

Peace
Sr. Safiyyah
Muslim Chaplain
SCI Muncy